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FSA.2: Spencer’s Take

I wanted to give my two cents on the Families Supporting Adoption Conference, too.  Whitney just got to blogging about it before I did.  We chatted about all the “light bulb” moments she mentioned, and I liked those as well.  Here’s just a glimpse at some of the notes I took:

1.  One presenter mentioned that she loved coming to the conference every year, because it was her chance to be around “her people,” referring, of course, not only to those in support of adoption, but also to those who can’t have biological children of their own.  I agree.  It was nice to be with a whole community, if you will, of people who understand exactly what we’re going through.

2. We should hang on to every bit of information we can about our child’s birth parents.  They (the child) will want to hear about it some day.  I think that’s good advice.  And we plan to take it.

3. I’ve got a whole list of tips from another session that talked about how the adoption process can go more smoothly for us.  It’s probably not exciting enough to put up here, but it’s helpful.

4. Two of the things that brought me the most comfort also came from the first keynote speaker, Julie B Beck.

• Abraham, as the Lord promised, was the father of many nations.  But remember, even he had just one son.
• Of all the names and adjectives that describe God, with all His power and might, the name he chooses to be known as is our Father in Heaven.

The conference was more than worth the 6-hour drive. 

And the filet mignon we had at the banquet was to die for.

FSA

The FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) conference in Layton was AWESOME!  Spencer and I were able to get the education hours we needed for adoption certification, as well as meet some new friends.  It was fun to meet some blog friends in person as well!  It was fun having lunch with Brittany and Que.  I also got to chat with Jessa from Birthmothers 4 adoption, which was funny because we had e-mailed back and forth lots but didn’t make the connection right away. 
Sister Beck was the keynote speaker, and Spencer and I were excited to be able to meet her afterwards, shake her hand, and thank her for her comments.  We enjoyed all of the classes and learned a lot.  Perhaps some of our favorite things, however, were the panels.  It was so neat to hear things from the perspective of adoptees and birth parents.  We especially enjoyed the birthfather panel because you don’t get to hear the birthfather’s perspective as often. 
It felt so good to be surrounded by people who understood exactly what we were going through.  It was wonderful to see many families who had already been blessed by the miracle of adoption, both those who had placed and those who had adopted. 
I enjoyed it so much I really could go on forever, but I thought I’d just share two of my favorite “light bulb moments” if you will from the conference. 
1.   Someone made a comment during the class on infertility that Spencer and I have talked about and thought of many times since then.  This individual told the story of her adopted son’s baby blessing.  Their son was named after her father.  As her husband held their child in his arms to bless him he felt impressed to tell him that though he did not have his grandfather’s blood in his veins, blood is mortal.  COVENANTS are eternal. 
I love that!  Blood is mortal but covenants are eternal.  A few times people have wondered if we could love an adopted child as much as our own “because they aren’t our blood.”  The idea is absurd.  Our spouse’s aren’t related to us by blood, but that doesn’t stop us from loving our husbands and wives with all of our hearts.  Why should it be any different with a child?  The sealing power that will bind us together for eternity is more powerful than any earthly connection.  I had never really thought of it in that way.  
2. I never really have liked when the whole “multiply and replenish” commandment comes up in church or Sunday school.  Though we would love to have children, because we can’t, I have felt like I am not measuring up.  How can I fill the measure of my creation when I can’t have children?  Many times I have felt like I am not enough. 
During that same class on infertility, the presenter shared a scripture that I have probably read ten thousand times:
1 Nephi 3:7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I ^awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no ^bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall ^cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.
As many times as I had read this scripture, I had never thought of it in that way!  It was amazing to me that something I had read so often could take on such a new meaning in just a split second. 
The presenter then shared her experience in calling the temple to schedule a time for their baby to be sealed to them.  It was their third adoption, and the temple worker who scheduled the appointment remarked, “Your third adoption!  Congratulations, you are certainly doing your part to multiply and replenish the earth!”
It is so much more than having children, or even raising children.  I know that this can apply to everyone.  We can ALL make contributions, even though it is easy to feel like the good things we are doing aren’t enough, they are.
It was interesting that after learning so many wonderful things and feeling the spirit so strongly that Satan really attacked after the conference.  I had to really exercise faith and draw upon the things I learned and the spirit I felt. 
Isn’t that how it often goes?  Really powerful experiences are always followed by hard days.  But I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to attend.  We’re already excited for next year.   

A Saturday, a Camera, a Computer, 2 Silly Geese, and a Ton of Fun

A KAUZ Worth Fighting For

As mentioned earlier, we left Wichita Falls after not quite a year and a half, and are comfortably settled in Idaho.  But we can certainly never forget our time in Texoma, the friends we made there, or the job that brought our family there in the first place.

After I graduated from BYU, we still went a few weeks with no job.  KAUZ, the CBS affiliate in Wichita Falls, offered me my first job as a dayside reporter.

For the first 7 or 8 months I was a one-man-band, which meant I shot the video and did the interviewing, and then wrote and edited everything.  Then I had the great opportunity to co-anchor the morning show with Lindsey Rogers. We would both come in early, do the morning show, and then still have time to go out and shoot a story for the day.  I was glad I still got to report even while anchoring.

My last day at KAUZ was bittersweet.  Whitney came to take pictures at the station.  I will always miss my co-workers, who all became my friends.

One thing I will always remember about KAUZ is how much we ate.  Goodness gracious, it’s no wonder I put on some pounds while I was there.  If food was put on the public table in the middle of the newsroom, you could expect it to be gone within minutes.  You’d think none of us got to eat anything at home.  Check out the spread of food the receptionist, Tina made for me on my last day of work.  I know, it looks like I died or something with my picture there on the table.

Overall, my job at KAUZ was a wonderful first job.  It got my feet wet in the field of broadcast journalism.  Honestly, it was pretty much what I expected out of a first job.  It was helpful in all the ways it needed to be for someone fresh out of college.  I loved the experiences, the opportunities, and the people.

While it was tough getting by, we know there was a reason we lived in Wichita Falls.  We’ll probably be discovering more of those reasons as time goes by.

One Step Forward

Great news! We completed one small step in the huge adoption process. We got the pre-approval paperwork taken care of. That means we:

• Filled out a basic application with our information
• Each got a physical (from our new primary care physician, who was mentioned as one of our recent miracles)
• Had our fertility specialist from Wichita Falls fill out a form to show that yes, we struggle with infertility
• Had our bishop fill out a form about us (understandably, he spoke with our bishop in Texas simply because, quite frankly, our current bishop doesn't know us very well yet. But he got things taken care of quickly)
• Had loved ones fill out reference letters on our behalf (a huge Thank You to those who did!)
  
• Are set to pay the first big sum of money as the application fee

Tuesday is our next appointment with our caseworker, Jon. The next steps (which will probably take a while) will include getting background checks from each state we have lived in during the last five years. It's a race between Utah, Texas, and Idaho. Who will have the quickest turnaround time?

We know it's a small step on a huge journey, but we're excited to have one part done. And hey -- that could have taken a lot longer, but it didn't.

Miracles

Here we are, finally settled in Idaho, and my mind is reeling with things I have been wanting to write, but have not had the spare minute to jot down. Indeed, the task is almost overwhelming.

But our family has seen many miracles over the past weeks, and I feel very compelled to write them so I’ll always remember them.

So the long story:

We had been looking for a new job for nearly six months. We loved living in Texas and had made some awesome friends. But the bottom line was we were not making enough money, especially to adopt. We were really struggling. We had put adoption on hold because it’s rather difficult to start the adoption process and then move out of state right in the middle. So we were waiting to start the paperwork to wait to get approved to wait to be selected. Waiting to wait. Waiting to wait is the worst kind of waiting there is. It is excruciating. If you have ever had to do this, then you know exactly what I mean.

There were several opportunities that fell through. Spencer was even offered a few jobs that we had to turn down because we knew they weren’t the right fit. We wanted to say yes so badly, but we couldn’t. So we waited some more.

Finally, we got an interview with a station in Idaho. It was an anchor position. Spencer wouldn’t have to work Sundays. We would make enough money. We flew to Idaho for the interview. We met the news director, and got know the area a little bit. We did some house hunting. We found the perfect little home to rent quite close to Spencer’s work. We really hit it off with the landlords. They still had a bit of work to do on the house, but promised us that they would let us know first, before they posted it online, when it was finished. We hoped to get the job and move to Idaho about the time the house would be finished.

A couple of months later we still didn’t know if Spencer had gotten the job. We had been in touch with the news director, but no decision had been made.

The landlords who were holding the house for us told us that they would have to go ahead and rent it to someone else since we still didn’t even know if we were moving. We understood, but were disappointed. I felt like we had found the place we were supposed to be. I wanted it to work out.

About a week after that we got a call from the Idaho station… and a job offer! We could finally move forward. We could finally pursue adoption! That same day, we got a call from the landlord we had met on our first trip out. The house was still available, and they wanted to know if we wanted it. Miracle.

Up to this point in our marriage, every home we had lived in had a washer and drier or at least a community laundry room (at our apartment complex). The home we were moving into was not furnished with a washer and drier. We were just planning on finding a Laundromat to use for a few months until we saved up enough for a set of our own. Spencer mentioned this to his co-anchor, Lindsey, in passing. Lindsey had just gotten married a couple of weeks prior. Both she and her husband had owned their own washer and drier, and so they had an extra set that they wanted to get rid of. She asked if we wanted them, and even offered to haul them to our house in her husband’s truck. This all happened the day before we moved, so we were able to load the washer and drier right onto our U-Haul. Miracle.

The only other thing our new home was lacking was a lawn mower. We were planning on asking to borrow a neighbor’s mower until we could purchase our own. We met a nice family in the ward at church, who happened to live on our street. Spencer asked them if it would be possible for him to borrow their lawn mower for a couple of hours to take care of our lawn. As it turned out, they had recently acquired a second mower, and asked if we would like to have it. The refused pay, insisting they did not need two lawn mowers. Miracle.

We met with our caseworker and were FINALLY able to begin the paperwork to start the adoption process. I felt so strongly during our meeting that we are where we are supposed to be. We learned that the LDS services office we are working with has one of the highest placement rates in the country. Miracle.

We needed physicals as part of the adoption process, so we found a local doctor to meet with. He filled out some of the adoption paperwork and was very kind and helpful. When we went to pay the bill, the receptionist told us that the doctor only wanted to charge us a third of what a new-patient office visit normally costs. Miracle.

I couldn’t help but tear up, I was so grateful for our doctors kindness. It was a bit of a struggle not to lose it in front of the nice receptionist.

It might sound simple. It’s just a washer. It’s just a lawn mower. No big deal, right? But it’s a big deal to me. It’s a reminder that Heavenly Father hasn’t forgotten us. It’s a reminder that He has a plan for us. We have waited so long, and I know we have a while to wait still until our baby is finally in our arms. Heavenly Father is so merciful to send little reminders along the way that He’s right there with us. The more I look the more miracles I see. We are so grateful. We are so blessed.