The Best Part

My favorite parts of the day:

• M’s head perking up when he hears the garage door open, followed by the pat pat pat of little feet running down the hall to meet daddy at the door.
• Everyone piling into our bed after M wakes up from his nap and is still juuuuust sleepy enough that he’ll hold still and cuddle for a gosh darn second.
• When M grabs a book from his bookshelf, and then backs up and plops right in my lap. I can’t even tell you how much I love that he wants to sit in my lap to read stories. Even if he’s just reading them to himself, he wants to be with me.
• When M calls me “mommy.” I loved being called “mama” for sure, but “mommy” is just my favorite.
• Dance parties around the living room. I never get tired of watching M prance about/prancing along with him.
• Watching M waddle.
• When M wraps his little arms around my neck and rests his head on my shoulder. I’ve noticed that M amps up the cuddling around naptime/bedtime as a stalling tactic. Totally works every time. He thinks he’s tricking me into letting him stay up later, but really I think I’m tricking him into cuddling longer. Win-win really.
• Hearing M say “Elmo.” I don’t know why, but that one word is absurdly cute when he says it. He’s obsessed with Elmo and I’m obsessed with hearing him say, “Elmo” so it all works out.
• Holding M’s hand through the crib slats for a moment after I tuck him in.
• Holding hands for walks around the neighborhood.
• Hearing M sing along to the radio from the backseat of the car.

It’s interesting how the mundane things are often the most memorable. Each night when I write down my highlights of the day, the simple little exchanges are usually what stand out to me the most. So much of what is special is routine. I don’t want to ever forget any of it.

Gooooooooooooooo Cougars!

This video is so cute I have watched it a dozen times. I love that M is so desperate to do EVERYTHING that daddy is doing. It is hilarious that he is so excited just because daddy is excited too. Haha!

Spencer would probably want me to let you know that the reason he is not wearing his BYU shirt is because he came straight from work and only caught the second half of the game.

I hope these two always love watching football together. It will be so fun to watch them do real manly things together as time goes on.

Celebrate Adoption Day

(Us at M’s finalization over a year ago)

Last weekend we got to go to the courthouse to celebrate adoption day! We weren’t expecting to have room in our schedules for the event, but ended up having an opening in our day. Spencer was actually asked to be a guest speaker last minute since the previously arranged speaker was sick and wasn’t able to attend.

Though it wasn’t part of our original plan for the day, I am SO glad we were able to be at the celebration. Hearing Spencer share our adoption story with those in attendance was a very special experience. Though of course I know it as well as he does, I never tire of hearing his version of events. He doesn’t write about adoption as often as I do, but he is just as passionate about the subject as I am. We seriously jump at the chance to share our enthusiasm for adoption.

It was neat to be at the courthouse where we finalized M’s adoption. It brought back so many memories. Looking at that picture of my chubby baby, I can hardly believe the energetic toddler he has become.

And boy was he energetic at the celebration. M was given a balloon, and was absolutely delighted. He danced all about the room (and kept crashing into people because he was looking heavenward at his balloon). It was rather funny to see a blue balloon bobbing about in a sea of people, but not be able to see who it was attached to. M was so excited by his balloon and the cake, that he didn’t want to sit still for daddy’s part of the presentation. I was only able to contain him by showing him pictures of himself on the kindle. He was just too wound up to sit still.

We were also excited to see that our family was mentioned in the newspaper the next day in relation to the adoption celebration. It’s kind of funny that we were so excited about this since Spencer is on the news every day. News is news after all. But, it was kinda fun to see our names in print.

My Everything

I realized that I haven’t written much about adoption recently. And not because I don’t still feel as passionately about it as ever, but just because I sometimes feel like I’ve said it all before. But since November is National Adoption Month, I have wanted to jot down some of my thoughts on the subject.

Adoption is always at the back of my mind. Spencer and I sometimes have this conversation, but it’s kind of difficult for us to articulate even to each other, how adoption can be so important and yet so unimportant at the same time.

I’ll try to explain. Adoption is one of the best journeys I have ever taken. I am SO incredibly grateful for adoption, for Natty, for Mason Bug. I think that adoption has made me a more grateful Whitney than I might have been without it. It changes the way I look at each and every day. Like those sweet and priceless moments when Mason is cuddled up in my lap, his head tucked under my chin, while I read him stories. Every so often, he’ll look up at me and smile his biggest smile and a rush of gratitude just overwhelms me. Or every night, I sneak into Mason’s room and watch him sleep for a little while. Sometimes his bum is cutely in the air. Sometimes he has a whole armful of stuffed animals wrapped tightly in his arms. Always, his angelic expression makes me forget the harder moments of the day. During those quiet minutes, I can’t help but think, “There was a time when I didn’t think I could have this moment.”

Conversely there are those more frustrating situations when M has a total screaming meltdown in the middle of the grocery store and my best efforts to remedy the situation only seem to make it worse. And as I flusteredly (and quickly!) try to make my way to the check out and get the heck out of the store, my mind is naturally reeling with thoughts of “Gosh, how embarrassing, I can’t seem to manage to even control my own kid!” and “Arrrggg child why are you doing this right now?” But often times, riding along on the tails of those less kindly thoughts comes, “There was a time when I didn’t think I could have this moment.”

I’m not saying that I am the most grateful mother out there. I wish I was. I do TRY to be thankful, though I know I often fall short. I think we all have unique trials or experiences that become the lens that colors our life. Those things that make us that much more grateful for the blessings we have been given. Adoption is one of mine. Adoption has changed the way I view the world. More significantly, it has changed the way I view MY world. So when I say that adoption is one of the most important parts of my life, I mean it completely.

But there are times that I feel like it doesn’t matter, or shouldn’t matter as much. Like when I hear M Bug’s sweet voice singing to himself from his crib in the morning. I patter down the hallway, burst into his room, scoop him up, and cover him with kisses. Mason will usually put his pudgy little hand on my cheek and say, “Mommy!” On those perfect occasions, I’m not thinking, “Man, I sure do love my adopted son.” I’m mostly just thinking, “Wow, I love him so much. I’m so lucky to be his mama.” It’s not that I forget how he came to be a part of our family. I could no sooner forget Natalie and her sacrifice than I could forget my own name. It’s just that in that moment I’m so lost in Mason, that I’m not focused on adoption,  

And I think that’s how it should be. I’m sure M’s birthfamily wouldn’t want us to love M tentatively. We shouldn’t love Mason Bug at arms length just because he didn’t come from us. He’s not just my son with a qualifier. He’s MY SON. My sweetheart. It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t share our blood. It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t the one to carry him for nine months. It does not matter. I couldn’t possibly love him more. I would walk through fire for that little boy.

In that way, I guess adoption is always on my mind and yet often not the first thing on my mind. It’s hard to explain how something can mean so much, permeate so many of my thoughts, and be such a big part of our family without being the whole focus of our family. Adoption means everything to me, but it is not my everything. These are my everythings:

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Calvin and Hobbes

Halloween Costumes Part 2.

Last weekend, we took M to Boo at the Zoo. It was SO fun (but SO busy)! They had trick-or-treating for the kiddos, games, and costume contests. Spencer and Mason entered the family costume contest as Calvin and Hobbes. I told Spencer that people better get their costume, or it will look like Spencer was the weirdo in the tiger suit who didn’t even dress up his kid! Luckily, they got lots of comments on their costume throughout the day, so I think people mostly got it. It helped that we were able to borrow our neighbors wagon. I think that completed their ensemble. 


Spencer was really excited about these costumes since we’d been talking about dressing M up as Calvin since last year. I love that Spencer was excited to dress up with his little boy. I kept giggling seeing him dressed up in his tiger onesie. I don’t know many men that would be excited to wear such a thing in public. Such a good sport that husband o’ mine. 

Silly Willy Nilly Ole’ Bear

Yesterday, we took M around the neighborhood for his very first time trick-or-treating. He sort of picked out his costume this year. A few weeks ago we popped into a thrift store to look at costumes and M spotted this Winnie the Pooh costume on the rack. He pointed to it and began clapping and hollering, “Pooh!!! Pooh Ba!!!” and clutched it close. He loves Winnie the Pooh. So Pooh Ba he got to be. Every time he saw his costume in the closet, M would get excited all over again and ask to hold it. So he was very happy when Halloween finally came and he got to don his costume.

It was hilarious how quickly M caught the hang of trick-or-treating. In no time at all he had it all figured out that if you knock on the door and say, “treat” some nice stranger will drop candy in your pumpkin. He was so eager to help knock on every door. And he had to be reminded a couple of times that if someone held the bucket out for him to pick out his candy, he only got to take ONE piece, not a whole handful.

Watching him waddle along in his Winnie the Pooh costume was the only good part of the week. All three of us had the flu right in a row and we spent pretty much all week on death’s doorstep. Luckily, M seemed to be over his illness the quickest. He bounced back and was happy and healthy again in no time. But Spencer and I were absolutely wiped out. We took turns writhing on the floor and moaning and weeping. It was honestly the sickest I’ve been in YEARS. Taking M trick-or-treating was the first time I’d left the house all week. And we only we able to make it up the street and back because Spencer and I were still feeling so weak. But I’m so glad M was feeling well enough to go. He was such a happy little Pooh Bear.