Bachelor Pad

For the second time in a month, Whitney had an opportunity to spend some time with her family. A while back she helped her younger sister move into her dorm at BYU, and then headed home to California with her parents to help out while her Dad recovered from a pretty big surgery. For the past couple days, she's been at it again; she went to Utah to attend a conference for the Association of Mormon Counselors and Psychotherapists (AMCAP) with her mom, who is a counselor. While I hold no grudges against Whitney for leaving me behind (after all, I have that one thing...you know, work), I realize how glad I am that I've never had to live completely alone.

The first time Whitney was gone for more than two weeks, and one of our bishopric members looked at me and incredulously asked, "What are you going to do for food?!" as though I would be left no choice but to scavenge for scraps in the desert. Believe it or not, I have been able to conjure up three meals a day. Although I notice my meals tend to be in the living room, in front of an episode of something like "The Office," "Monk," or "Psych." Sitting at a table all alone in silence is weird to me, so I guess the tube makes it feel like someone's there.

Usually after we drop her off at the airport for something like that, Lizzy and I drive back home in a bad mood, because we know we're stuck with each other (and only each other) for the duration of Whitney's absence. Lizzy looks out the window longingly and gives large sighs, as though I can't hear them. But she does have a point. After all, when Whitney's gone, Lizzy has to take my schedule. That means sleeping from about 5 to midnight, then waking up for a brief period while I get ready for work, and then facing at least 8 more hours alone in a dark house while I'm at work. She no likey.

But then the pup tries to get fresh and wants to cuddle with me in bed. Me no likey.

Our house is also more echo-y when Whitney's gone. I tend to roll up the large rug in the living room and stash it in the closet because nobody's home to monitor Lizzy while I'm at work, if you know what I mean.

Most of all, when Whitters is gone, I realize how much I miss my best friend. I used to wonder if being around your spouse would become mostly just a habit after marriage, because, well, you live together. Now I know that no matter how long you've been married, you always WANT to be with them. They're your best friend in the world, and let's be honest -- life just isn't as fun when they're not around.

Inspiring Adoption Blog

Today, I wanted to share the most amazing blog with you.  Kayli first contacted me asking if she could post our adoption button on her blog and if we had any pass along cards she could have.  OF COURSE!  I am always so touched when people share our adoption information. 

I immediately hopped on over to her blog and was completely absorbed.  This woman is a pillar of strength.  I was so touched by what she had to say, that I asked if I could share her words with you.  She described so beautifully a concept that I have also talked about (regarding adoption not being plan B).  I so enjoyed reading her perspective, I wanted to share it with you too.     

“Women who struggle with infertility experience an indescribable pain; I've been blessed to come to know many of these women. One of them is Amy, is the woman I chose to mother the child I bore in May. She was my angel. Although not all couples who cannot have children choose to adopt, the choice is there. Adoption has been an encompassing part of Heavenly Father's plan from the beginning - both on a "large" scale and a "small" scale. We are all adopted by our earthly parents; they are given stewardship of us from our Heavenly parents. Jesus was raised by a man who was not his biological father. Moses was not raised by his biological parents; his birth mother nursed him for three months but he was raised by Pharaoh's daughter…

Infertility allows for another door to open wide. I love my Heavenly Father and am unshakably grateful for His beautiful Plan of Happiness. I love His love for us. I know He loves both those who can and those who cannot have children alike. I know that He put us each on this Earth at this time for a reason. I know He loves me, and I know He loves you.”

When Kayli sent me an e-mail there was a quote at the bottom that I have thought a lot about:

We go through what we go through to help others go through what we went through.

-Anonymous

I love that this is Kayli’s personal motto.  What a beautiful perspective to have on life!  Doesn’t it give the trials we go through so much more meaning, knowing that we can use them to bless the lives of others?  If you get a chance, you really should go read Kayli’s blog and tell her Hello.  I know that her words will inspire you as they have me! 

Media Blitz

My awesome sister asked if she could “sponsor” a media blitz for us today.  She was kind enough to write about us here.  If you have a minute, please hop over there and read her sweet post.   

Thank you so much, Shari, for organizing this event and for everyone else who has helped spread the word.  We are truly so grateful! 

As part of the event, we decided to do a giveaway.  So, here’s what you can win.  A little something like this:

A little owl family! 

Except, it will be custom made just for you!  I will make you any three pieces that you want be they owls, mini stumps, or mushrooms

(example: male owl, female owl, mini stump.  or 2 female owls, mushroom. or 3 female owls.  etc…)  You tell me what you want (pieces, colors, accessories), and I’ll send it your way!

How do you enter, you ask?  Easy.  1. Follow our adoption blog.  2. Leave your name and e-mail address in the comments section of the post.  You can also get one extra entry for each of the following: 

1. liking our Facebook page

2. linking to our profile/adoption blog on Facebook or twitter

3. linking to our profile/adoption blog on your blog

4. posting our adoption button on your blog

5. e-mailing friends or family

6. If you’ve done anything else to help spread the word, please feel free to give yourself an extra entry.

DEADLINE:  One week from today (October 3rd).

We know lots of you have already done these things, and this is a small way for us to say thank you!   

Breaking News

 

 

 

 

(WE ARE APPROVED!)… to adopt of course.

Yes we are. Yes we are!

Hooray!

Feel free to visit our profile,

Positive Adoption Language

Since beginning the adoption process, Spencer and I have learned a lot about why it is important to use the correct language when speaking about adoption.  It is important to use positive language most especially for the sake of children who have entered a family through adoption.  The child who was adopted will develop ideas and feelings about the way their family was built based on the vocabulary used to describe the adoption.  It is for this reason, that it is important to use correct terminology.   

We wanted to share a better way to say what you mean when talking about adoption.

Incorrect Term vs. Correct Term

IS adopted vs. WAS adopted- The use of present tense suggests that the process is ongoing.  It is not.  Just as a child WAS born a child WAS adopted. Adoption may be the way that a child entered a family, but to recognize it an event that happened in the past is to acknowledge the permanence of the relationship.

Giving up or give away vs. Place- There are a few reasons that "giving up,” isn’t the best term to use when referring to placing a child.  First, individuals often “give up,” things that are negative.  For example, people can give up drinking, smoking, or other addictive behaviors.  You wouldn’t want a child to think that they had been "given up” in that sense of the phrase.  Second, giving up can often imply surrender.  For example, “Oh, I give up!”  The use of these words does not give adequate credit to the thought that a birthparent puts into making the decision to place their child.  These brave individuals ponder, pray, hope, and carefully consider their options before choosing a family to place their baby with.  It was not an easy decision.  It was an active, not a passive choice.  They didn’t simply give up.  They lovingly placed their baby in the home that they knew would be best for them.

Putting a child up for adoption vs. Finding a family to parent the child- “Finding” is a much better word to describe what a birthparent does than is “putting.”  Again, it is an active, not passive choice. 

Keep vs. Parent- A baby is more than a possession.  You own possessions.  You keep possessions.  Each unwed mother has the opportunity to decide whether or not she wants to place the baby.  Many chose to parent, and that is their decision to make. 

Real Mother vs. Birth mother- “Real” is not a healthy word to use to describe anyone in an adoptive relationship.  Each individual is real; no one is fake.  To call a Birth mother real, is to insinuate that the mother is NOT real.  “Mother” is the hard-earned, long awaited, special title given to women who nurture, raise, care for, and love children.  Therefore, “adoptive mothers” are simply called “mothers.”  Birth mother is a special title too.  A birth mother is the one who gave her baby life.  She is the one that loved her baby so much that she was willing to place her baby’s needs above the desires of her own heart.  Therefore, to refer to the adoptive mother as “real” would be equally unkind.  

The same goes for “real children” or “natural children” or “my own children” vs. “biological children.”  You wouldn’t want to make a child who was adopted feel like they are unreal, unnatural, or NOT your own.  Each child should be your own, no matter how they come to you.   

Illegitimate child vs. Child born to unwed parents- I realize this one is a bit more to say, but imagine how you would feel if you were described as “illegitimate.”  Every child is legitimate.  They are a legitimate human being with legitimate feelings.  The child does not have any control over the circumstances of their conception.  Therefore, they shouldn’t be labeled in this way. 

Unwanted pregnancy vs. Unplanned pregnancy- As one birthmother I had the opportunity to speak with described it, “I WANTED my baby very much.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want him.  It was that I wasn’t prepared for him.  I knew that he deserved more.”  “Unplanned” better describes the enormity of a birthmother’s sacrifice. 

We realize that sometimes people don’t say the right things.  Many well-meaning individuals are just trying to be supportive and interested in our lives and the adoption process.  We don’t generally get offended if people don’t use the correct vocabulary.  After all, we have had to learn the best way to talk about things ourselves!  However, we do appreciate those who try to be sensitive in the way they word things.

“Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we think about.”
                                                                          - Benjamin Lee Whorf

Best Date EVER

Saturday, Spencer announced that he had a surprise date planned and told me that I would want to bring my camera. 
We got in the car and drove for a stretch to finally arrive at Babby Farms!  Spencer has visited their location on a couple of occasions to film segments for the news.  It has kind of been my dream to visit there myself because Babby farms is home to a variety of super cool animals.  Many are the type of animals you would expect to find on a farm, such as: 
Shetland Ponies (they are BABIES!!!*):
*You should know that I use the term “babies” very loosely to refer to any animal that is cute and/or fuzzy and/or small and/or alive… as in most animals are, in fact, babies

These little piggys (BABIES!):

The occasional, crazy-haired llama:

But Babby Farms is also home to a variety of more exotic animas such as:
Porcupine:

(He was actually much bigger than I though porcupines would be; he’s roughly the size of a barge.  Also, his name is Porky, which I thought was kind of cute and appropriate.  All of the animals at Babby have names, which I thought was quite cool.)
Coati:

(This little fellow was a rascal.  I didn’t get a picture of it, but he loves bopping any farm dog that gets too close to his cage on the nose.  It’s pretty funny to watch.  As soon as we came up to his cage, he came running out to investigate.  Doesn’t he just look like a little troublemaker?  He’s cute though.  He’s a baby.)
Sloth:

(We didn’t pet this guy.  Apparently he sometimes bites.  He moves in such slow motion that he usually doesn’t actually get a chance to sink his teeth in.  But we decided we’d rather not risk getting bitten by a sloth.  Though it would make a pretty cool story I guess.  Bragging rights, you know.)
The best part about Babby Farms though, was that we got to PLAY with all of the animals!  We got to pet everything, well, except the buffalo, wildcats, and sloth.  I especially enjoyed getting in the pens with all of the animals and taking their pictures.  I got some awesome shots. 
(The animal pictured on top is called a “Spencer” ((pronounced STINK pot)).  Very rare.  Very exotic.  His natural habitat is among the rolling hills of Idaho.  His diet consists largely of fajitas.  He is a nocturnal creature, rarely seen in daylight.)

Ok, here’s one of my favorites… BABY ZEBRA!  Her name is Zaza.  And she really IS a baby (according to any definition, not just mine).  And she was ADORABLE! 

Can you even stand her cuteness? 

GAH!  Me neither.  I was kind of having a heart attack she was so cute. 


Spencer even took a video of me with Zaza:

Whitney petting baby Zaza.

Here’s another of my favorites.  We got to play with George, the baby kangaroo.  He’s not full grown yet; red kangaroos can grow to be six feet tall or more. 

I kind of loved him.  He kept trying to eat my clothes, but I loved him anyways.  Friends let friends eat their clothes. 
This is one of my favorite videos of the day.  George was getting kind of feisty, but I had been told how to handle him.  He seriously reminds me of a little kid throwing a tantrum.

Whitney takes on George

And last but not least:
The Kinkajou:

Not to be confused with the lame anime critter:

The kinkajou’s name is Mojo.  He was super friendly and cuddly.  Here’s a video of him hanging out on my shoulders. 

Kinkajou kisses

It was SO much fun to play with all of the baby animals.  A round of applause for Spencer for taking me on such a cool date! 

Spencie Gets His Zumba On

For Hispanic Heritage Month, the Good Morning Live crew got their zumba on in the studio. I think you will get a kick out of watching Spencer shake his booty.

Videos - Multimedia - www.kivitv.com

Room for Baby

Look what I made for our baby’s nursery: 

I was so proud of my little decorations!  I will be posting more nursery pictures soon.  We’re slowly, slowly, decorating baby’s room.  If you read my craft blog, this might be old news to some of you,.  I don’t usually like to post the same thing twice.  But in case you don’t visit that one, I decided to share here as well.

In some ways we have been hesitant to get too excited too soon.  But we have decided to make room for baby in our home and in our hearts.  We may still have a long wait ahead of us, but we are going to be ready when they come. 

My Plan A

Yesterday I experienced a beautiful reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of me.  My mom and I went to a our good friend's house to get our hair done.  We got to chatting with the lady who had an appointment before ours.  As it turns out, her youngest son was adopted.  She was so kind as to share her experience with me and told me something that I have been thinking about ever since.

"Adoption is not plan B."

Adoption is part of Heavenly Father's plan.  He knew that there would be individuals who would make mistakes and that there would be children born to unwed mothers.  He knew that there would be couples who would want desperately to have children, but not be able to bring them into the world themselves.  He knew. 

I am always saddened to hear individuals say things like, "I hope I would never have to adopt," or "Oh, so do you have to adopt because you can't have kids?"

We do NOT feel that we HAVE to adopt.  We GET to adopt.

It is our choice.  It is our blessing.  We are so grateful beyond grateful for the miracle of adoption.  

I would love to be able to be the one to bring our babies into the world.  I would love to know what that feels like.  I would love to be able to have that experience with my sweetheart.  I know that there is no experience quite like it.  

But you know what? 

My plan A is to be a mother.

Childbirth and adoption are both ways to get there.  So is being a loving mother figure to the youth I serve in my calling.  So is nurturing and loving my nieces and nephews.  

I don't feel cheated by life.  I feel so grateful that Heavenly Father will help me with my own plan A.  The path I take will be different from many others, but that's okay because my path is special too.  I have never seen so many miracles in my entire life than when my husband and I began our journey to adopt.  I have never felt closer to my Savior.  It has been a sacred experience.  

Yesterday was yet another reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of our little family.  I know He is.