Room for Baby

Look what I made for our baby’s nursery: 

I was so proud of my little decorations!  I will be posting more nursery pictures soon.  We’re slowly, slowly, decorating baby’s room.  If you read my craft blog, this might be old news to some of you,.  I don’t usually like to post the same thing twice.  But in case you don’t visit that one, I decided to share here as well.

In some ways we have been hesitant to get too excited too soon.  But we have decided to make room for baby in our home and in our hearts.  We may still have a long wait ahead of us, but we are going to be ready when they come. 

My Plan A

Yesterday I experienced a beautiful reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of me.  My mom and I went to a our good friend's house to get our hair done.  We got to chatting with the lady who had an appointment before ours.  As it turns out, her youngest son was adopted.  She was so kind as to share her experience with me and told me something that I have been thinking about ever since.

"Adoption is not plan B."

Adoption is part of Heavenly Father's plan.  He knew that there would be individuals who would make mistakes and that there would be children born to unwed mothers.  He knew that there would be couples who would want desperately to have children, but not be able to bring them into the world themselves.  He knew. 

I am always saddened to hear individuals say things like, "I hope I would never have to adopt," or "Oh, so do you have to adopt because you can't have kids?"

We do NOT feel that we HAVE to adopt.  We GET to adopt.

It is our choice.  It is our blessing.  We are so grateful beyond grateful for the miracle of adoption.  

I would love to be able to be the one to bring our babies into the world.  I would love to know what that feels like.  I would love to be able to have that experience with my sweetheart.  I know that there is no experience quite like it.  

But you know what? 

My plan A is to be a mother.

Childbirth and adoption are both ways to get there.  So is being a loving mother figure to the youth I serve in my calling.  So is nurturing and loving my nieces and nephews.  

I don't feel cheated by life.  I feel so grateful that Heavenly Father will help me with my own plan A.  The path I take will be different from many others, but that's okay because my path is special too.  I have never seen so many miracles in my entire life than when my husband and I began our journey to adopt.  I have never felt closer to my Savior.  It has been a sacred experience.  

Yesterday was yet another reminder that Heavenly Father is aware of our little family.  I know He is.  

It's Never Too Early

It was probably a year ago, if not longer, that Whitney and I were wandering through a Salvation Army store, looking for furniture (well, we've done that a billion times, but we've only ever come away with any one time, I believe). While we weren't hunting for one, we came across an awesome, wooden rocking chair. My family (and many of my co-workers and college friends) will tell you that I love rocking chairs. I don't know what it is, but even if my chair doesn't move, I always do. In fact, I'm rocking back and forth in a stationary chair as I type this. I don't even think about it anymore; it's very much a subconscious thing. That's actually one of the things that difficult about a new job - people noticing it for the first time and calling me on it. But once everyone notices it, I can joke along with them and it's no longer weird. I still think I'm in the weird stage at my current job in that regard.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there. We managed to lower the price on the chair a bit, and for $20, we came away with this:

It may be hard to tell from the picture, but there were quite a few places, especially on the legs, where the paint was old and chipping. We actually had it in our living room just as you see it for months, and even moved it here to Idaho before we started tackling refinishing it, which was our goal all along.

Once we started the adoption paperwork, it was especially exciting to start working on a chair that we can rock our baby in one day. Plus it was fun to have a project to work on together. Here it is after we sanded down all the rough places and stripped all the peeling paint.

And the sanded paint powder got all over our clothes.

Naturally, Whitney couldn't resist making her mark. I felt like an orc from Lord of the Rings.

She had to go and make the event a PG-13 affair.

Several coats of white spray paint later, we were very pleased with our final product. Now it's sitting in the house waiting for the arrival of a little one.

After all, it's never too early.

Heads Up

Just to let everybody know, we put up a new page on the blog. You can now "See Our Video" by using the appropriate tab at the top.

FSA.2: Spencer’s Take

I wanted to give my two cents on the Families Supporting Adoption Conference, too.  Whitney just got to blogging about it before I did.  We chatted about all the “light bulb” moments she mentioned, and I liked those as well.  Here’s just a glimpse at some of the notes I took:

1.  One presenter mentioned that she loved coming to the conference every year, because it was her chance to be around “her people,” referring, of course, not only to those in support of adoption, but also to those who can’t have biological children of their own.  I agree.  It was nice to be with a whole community, if you will, of people who understand exactly what we’re going through.

2. We should hang on to every bit of information we can about our child’s birth parents.  They (the child) will want to hear about it some day.  I think that’s good advice.  And we plan to take it.

3. I’ve got a whole list of tips from another session that talked about how the adoption process can go more smoothly for us.  It’s probably not exciting enough to put up here, but it’s helpful.

4. Two of the things that brought me the most comfort also came from the first keynote speaker, Julie B Beck.

• Abraham, as the Lord promised, was the father of many nations.  But remember, even he had just one son.
• Of all the names and adjectives that describe God, with all His power and might, the name he chooses to be known as is our Father in Heaven.

The conference was more than worth the 6-hour drive. 

And the filet mignon we had at the banquet was to die for.

FSA

The FSA (Families Supporting Adoption) conference in Layton was AWESOME!  Spencer and I were able to get the education hours we needed for adoption certification, as well as meet some new friends.  It was fun to meet some blog friends in person as well!  It was fun having lunch with Brittany and Que.  I also got to chat with Jessa from Birthmothers 4 adoption, which was funny because we had e-mailed back and forth lots but didn’t make the connection right away. 
Sister Beck was the keynote speaker, and Spencer and I were excited to be able to meet her afterwards, shake her hand, and thank her for her comments.  We enjoyed all of the classes and learned a lot.  Perhaps some of our favorite things, however, were the panels.  It was so neat to hear things from the perspective of adoptees and birth parents.  We especially enjoyed the birthfather panel because you don’t get to hear the birthfather’s perspective as often. 
It felt so good to be surrounded by people who understood exactly what we were going through.  It was wonderful to see many families who had already been blessed by the miracle of adoption, both those who had placed and those who had adopted. 
I enjoyed it so much I really could go on forever, but I thought I’d just share two of my favorite “light bulb moments” if you will from the conference. 
1.   Someone made a comment during the class on infertility that Spencer and I have talked about and thought of many times since then.  This individual told the story of her adopted son’s baby blessing.  Their son was named after her father.  As her husband held their child in his arms to bless him he felt impressed to tell him that though he did not have his grandfather’s blood in his veins, blood is mortal.  COVENANTS are eternal. 
I love that!  Blood is mortal but covenants are eternal.  A few times people have wondered if we could love an adopted child as much as our own “because they aren’t our blood.”  The idea is absurd.  Our spouse’s aren’t related to us by blood, but that doesn’t stop us from loving our husbands and wives with all of our hearts.  Why should it be any different with a child?  The sealing power that will bind us together for eternity is more powerful than any earthly connection.  I had never really thought of it in that way.  
2. I never really have liked when the whole “multiply and replenish” commandment comes up in church or Sunday school.  Though we would love to have children, because we can’t, I have felt like I am not measuring up.  How can I fill the measure of my creation when I can’t have children?  Many times I have felt like I am not enough. 
During that same class on infertility, the presenter shared a scripture that I have probably read ten thousand times:
1 Nephi 3:7 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I ^awill go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no ^bcommandments unto the children of men, save he shall ^cprepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.
As many times as I had read this scripture, I had never thought of it in that way!  It was amazing to me that something I had read so often could take on such a new meaning in just a split second. 
The presenter then shared her experience in calling the temple to schedule a time for their baby to be sealed to them.  It was their third adoption, and the temple worker who scheduled the appointment remarked, “Your third adoption!  Congratulations, you are certainly doing your part to multiply and replenish the earth!”
It is so much more than having children, or even raising children.  I know that this can apply to everyone.  We can ALL make contributions, even though it is easy to feel like the good things we are doing aren’t enough, they are.
It was interesting that after learning so many wonderful things and feeling the spirit so strongly that Satan really attacked after the conference.  I had to really exercise faith and draw upon the things I learned and the spirit I felt. 
Isn’t that how it often goes?  Really powerful experiences are always followed by hard days.  But I am so grateful that we had the opportunity to attend.  We’re already excited for next year.   

A Saturday, a Camera, a Computer, 2 Silly Geese, and a Ton of Fun