Kellen’s Story: Chosen

When we initially started emailing with Kellen’s birthmom, Serena, she told us that she was considering a few families and was still in the midst of the decision making process. So we were surprised and very excited when she told us after only a few emails that we were the family for her baby! I saw the email at night after Spencer had already gone to bed and I ran in and woke him out of a dead sleep to tell him the good news. 

We began making plans to travel to meet Serena. Our first visit went very smoothly. We were a little nervous on the drive over, but once we were chatting with Serena and her mom we felt comfortable in no time. Serena and her family are very warm people and they’ve always made us feel right at home.

Our favorite moment was when Mason reached out to Serena for her to pick him up. He put both of his hands on her tummy (totally unprompted, it was like he just knew) and just held them there and Serena said, “Look, it’s your sibling!” I think we both just fell that much more in love with Serena in that moment.

(Photos taken the first time we met Serena)

One thing that I have always loved about Serena is how sweet she is with Mason. Mason LOVES Serena, and I love that she loves him back. And I love that Natalie loves Kellen. It is so special to me that both our kiddos birthmomma’s love both of my kiddos. And I know the boys love each other’s birthmomma’s too. Mason will pray for “Natty” and “Rena” every single prayer he says. He knows who they are and he gets excited to see them. I have no doubt Kellen will be the same way. And I can’t wait for the day when we are able to get together with both Natalie and Serena at the same time! Open adoption is so cool that way. We adopted our boys, but also gained relationships with their birth families. And our boys birth families kind of adopted the four of us into their families too. It’s amazing to me the way the love of one child connects us all. It’s amazing, and beautiful, and humbling, and special, and kind of hard to put into words. It’s a miracle really, how one tiny person can bring so many others together in such a powerful way.   

During that first meeting we had asked Serena how she had decided on a family. She told us that one factor in her decision was location. She had looked at families only within a certain region. This was significant to us because around the time we were starting the approval process, we were trying to figure out if we should move. At that time, Spencer’s contract was up and we had anticipated that we would probably be moving up to a larger market. We went so far as to start applying for jobs, but we just didn’t feel good about leaving yet. We felt like we really wanted/needed to stay in Idaho. We ultimately decided that Spencer would re-sign a contract for another few years. In hindsight, we’re especially glad that we made the decision to stay because it helped Serena find us.

Serena also told us that one thing that had initially drawn her to our family was Mason. She liked the idea of her baby having a big brother to look out for him or her. I loved that. And like I’ve mentioned before, I was also so excited for Mason to have a baby brother or sister to look out for.

We came home and shortly thereafter began sharing the good news with family. These are the photos we sent to our family to announce our big news:

Gosh he looks so LITTLE to me now when I look at those photos.

We also were able to meet Kellen’s birthfather a few weeks after we met Serena. He is also a very kind person and we so enjoyed visiting with him and his family. Spencer and I were quite excited that he wanted to be involved in the process and were glad that Kellen would get to know his birthfather.

We slowly started getting ready for Baby…

Kellen’s Story: Approved

A long time ago, in fact over a year ago, Spencer and I started discussing when to start the adoption process again. We thought about it, prayed about it, and eventually decided that we would try to get approved shortly after M turned one. LDSFS requires that adoptive couples wait one year from the time of placement to be approved again (though couples can begin the approval process before the year mark, their profile will not be published until the year is up).

Deciding when to add to your family is always a personal decision, and we didn’t say a lot about it until we were well in the midst of the approval process/practically completed it I think (which, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, is quite extensive and time consuming, especially when you add a busy toddler to the mix of the piles of paperwork). Therefore, the approval process took us several months longer than the first time around. Our caseworker told us that our wait would likely be longer than last time since we already had a child. We were fine with that, and decided that we would just do what we could do on our end to spread the word.  

We had our home study in the very beginning of August when Mason was about sixteen months old. The home study was pretty much the last step of our approval process and we anticipated that our profile would go live shortly thereafter. Our caseworker told us she was going out of the country on vacation right after she completed our home study, and let us know it may be a few weeks before she could get everything finished up and post our profile online. Therefore, we were surprised when our profile went live just a couple of days later. Our caseworker later told me that she had felt prompted that she needed to get our profile posted right away, so she actually did some work for us while she was on vacation with her family, something she never usually did. I’m so grateful that she followed that prompting, because we were contacted by Kellen’s birthmom just four days after our profile went live.

I know that’s really fast, and really unusual, and I know how blessed we are that things happened so quickly. I even waffled a bit on whether or not to share the exact time frame, but decided that it was an important part of our story because it reminds me just how much the Lord had a hand in Kellen’s birthmom finding us.

We were shocked that we had been contacted so quickly, but excitedly began emailing back and forth with Kellen’s birthmom. It was funny because we had only recently told our family that we were approved and asked them to share our profile before it was gone! I had even begun a blog post announcing that we were approved, but our profile was taken down before I could share it. We had several curious family members who noticed that our profile was missing and had asked us what was going on. My sister, Shari, was the first one to notice and I knew she would be! She always seems to know these things before I even tell her. We are grateful that we have always been so supported throughout our adoption journey and that friends and family have taken such an interest in helping spread the word. 

We continued communication with Kellen’s birthmomma and got excited every time we had an email from her. She was easy to like, fun to chat with, and we enjoyed getting to know her little by little…

The Adventure Begins

So how is Mason enjoying his new little brother? That is probably one of the questions we hear most often lately and something I wondered a lot about prior to Kellen joining our family.

When we found out baby #2 was joining our family, I began dreaming about the moment when Mason would get to meet his little brother or sister for the first time. I was of course super (no pun intended… ok maybe pun intended) excited about the prospect of being mommy to two little people, but I was also super excited that Mason would have a sibling. To have a buddy to stay up late at night laughing with, to race around the house with, to wear matching sweaters to church with, to get into trouble with, and to be his best friend. I wanted that for him so much. Spencer and I are very close with our siblings and we so hoped that Mason could have that kind of forever friendship someday.

When we came home from the hospital I could not wait for the boys to meet each other for the first time. Mason was actually really sick the day we got home, so my plans for a cuddly home coming had to be delayed since we didn’t want Mason getting Kellen sick. But the look on Mason’s face when he saw his little brother for the first time was priceless. He yelled, “Hi Buddy!” before running right up to the carseat, stretching out his arms, and chanting, “Cuddee Cuddee” (cuddle). Though he had to wait a few days to get in a good cuddle, Mason asked several times a day (still does actually) to “cuddee” with Kellen. We find it especially adorable that Mason gave Kellen a nickname all on his own. We’ve never called Kellen “Buddy,” so that Mason decided that that was what he was going to call Brother melts my heart

The same afternoon of our homecoming, my mom was holding Kellen and Mason ran up to him and planted a big kiss on the top of his head before we could stop him. It was so sweet I nearly died right then and there.

Mason has decided that his big brother duties include: offering Kellen stuffed animals (which we have to keep telling him Kellen can’t have, but it’s cute that he wants to share), telling us when Kellen is crying (he comes running up to us yelling, “Sad! Sad! Sad!” until we reassure him that Kellen will be ok), and running up to the side of his bassinet first thing every morning to shout, “Hi Buddy!” at the top of his lungs. He takes these responsibilities very seriously and does all of them quite well.

So to make a short answer long, I would say that Mason loves and enjoys his brother very much.

But of course, it’s been a time of transition in our house and there were a few particularly rough days at the beginning, which I think can be partially attributed to Mason’s sickness which made him terribly cranky. He is still adjusting to not having 100% of Mom and Dad’s attention all the time, and usually asks to be held and loved the moment we pick Kellen up to feed him. Overall, however, I think we are slowly, slowly getting into more of a routine and learning how to be a family of four.

In some ways this adjustment has been harder than I thought, in other ways it’s a little easier (It helps that Kellen’s such a mellow baby). If I’m being honest, sometimes I feel terribly inadequate for the task at hand; how will I raise these two perfect little boys in the way they deserve? I am learning how to divide my time between the two in the way that is best for both (but I have to admit that I feel guilty some of the time that I’m not doing it as well as I would like). But I am trying my hardest, and I know with all my heart that Heavenly Father meant for these little boys to be brothers. I know it.

And there’s those little moments along the way that make the hard parts worth it. Like tonight when Mason told Kellen all oh his own, “Uv Ooh” (love you). In those times, I can see a future for them of games of basketball in the driveway, hide and seek in the dark, campouts with daddy, and wrestling matches in the living room. I just know it’s going to be good.

Introducing Kellen

Meet Kellen, the newest addition to our little family! He’s such a sweetheart and we are terribly smitten with him.

I can’t wait to share some of his story; it’s a pretty special one. I started this post several days ago with the intention of telling a bit about how Kellen came to join our family, but I just haven’t had the time to finish it. So for now I’ll leave you with a myriad of photos I’ve taken of the little guy so far, and the knowledge that there will be more to come. Probably a lot more since I can’t seem to stop taking pictures of his darling little face (can you BLAME me?).

I’m off to kiss those chubby cheeks. More to come soon!

Book Review: Discovering Peace

When Jennifer asked me if I would be willing to do a book review for her, I jumped at the chance. Her first book, Delivering Hope, is one of my favorite books about adoption, so I knew that I was going to enjoy the sequel as well.

Discovering Peace explores what post-placement life looks like from the perspective of a birth mom and an adoptive mom. Post-placement is the part of adoption that you hear the least about. Just as many love stories end with a wedding and a happily ever after, so do many adoption stories draw the curtain with the placement of the baby. Placement is truly the beginning of many things including a family and an open adoption relationship, but these things are less often explored in fictional adoption literature. While adoption can be incredibly beautiful, it is also a hard thing for all parties involved. Discovering Peace delves into some of the more complex feelings that accompany an adoption story, while still maintaining a positive and hopeful tone.

Though fictional, the thoughts and feelings expressed by the characters in the book are realistic and I found I could relate to many sections of the book, I would endorse the book, not just because it was an enjoyable read (though it was that), but because it was meaningful. Because the story is told from two viewpoints, it quite literally directs the reader to look at adoption from a new perspective. The ability to consider adoption from another parties point of view is a most valuable skill to have in any adoption relationship. I like that this book encourages the reader to think about adoption in a different way.

You can purchase Delivering Peace here.

For more information about the author and her books, you can visit Jennifer’s website here. Jennifer will be doing a giveaway in conjunction with the blog tour, so you can stop by to enter to win your own copy of Delivering Peace.

I can’t wait for you all to read it so we can discuss.

Happy Valentine’s Day

I Have Some ‘Splaining To Do

I don’t even know the last time I’ve gone this long without blogging. There’s lots of reasons, but the main one is that things have kept breaking. Big things like cars and computers and lots of smaller things as well. It’s been kind of weird how many things have gone out of commission right in a row. As far as our computer goes, I had backed up most of the important stuff on our external hard drive as we’ve gone along but there were a couple weeks of current pictures that were lost. Spencer’s co-worker was able to recover them and I was going to post some of those, and then lo and behold the (brand new) external hard drive she saved them to stopped working. So I lost them again. Not to mention this computer is so old it doesn’t deal with the big pictures my camera takes and uploading takes forever if it’s able to do it at all. I don’t mean to sound like a whiner, it’s just stuff and not really a big deal. But by way of long, boring explanation, that’s the reason I’ve fallen so behind on documenting our recent adventures. At least on here anyway.

So, where to start…

We got a new (to us) car. For the first time in nearly six years of marriage we are technically a two-car family! I say technically because we’re not sure how long we’ll end up keeping our old car since it’s not very reliable. But Spencer has been using it to make the short drive to work and back, and though it’s not the kind of car we want to transport kiddos in, it gets him where he needs to go (and hasn’t actually given him much trouble since we got a second car). Some people have wondered how we’ve gone as long as we’ve had with just one car, but for the most part it hasn’t ever been all that difficult to share. In the past when M and I’ve needed the car we’ve just dropped Spencer off at work. And Spencer works such an odd schedule that even when he and I were both working, we could easily get where we needed to go with just one car between us. 

But I’m not gonna lie, though we didn’t anticipate having to buy another car at this time it’s been pretty convenient to each have our own means of transportation. And we really like our new car at lot. Maybe if I’m feeling really ambitious I’ll have to try to post some pictures of our new ride.

In other news, M seems to have developed into a full-on two year old overnight. Though he’s still my cheerful, sweet, little boy he has been working more and more on asserting his independence. He will frequently do things I JUST told him not to do (while looking my direction with a big smile on his face) just to see if he can get a reaction. Stinker. He has also developed a certain fondness for the word “no” and will often tell me no to things I KNOW he wants or would enjoy before eventually changing his answer. 

Just the other day he was doing something naughty (I can’t even remember what it was at this point) and I told him that he could either stop right now or go to time out and he calmly requested, “time out” with a big smile on his face. Aggg kiddo, you’re not supposed to LIKE time out!    

Even though he seems to enjoy testing the limits, in other ways he is less “two” than I would have expected given his current independent streak. He doesn’t throw a lot of tantrums. We can usually take things he shouldn’t have away from him or correct his behavior without a lot of hysterics on his part. He accepts when we tell him “no” pretty easily and moves forward without a lot of fuss. I know that this can and probably will change at any time, so we’re enjoying it while it lasts.

Overall, I know I’m really lucky to have such a happy kid. He’s such a sweetheart and I sure do enjoy spending my days with him.  

Some more funny stories about M:

I’ve been trying to help M sing the alphabet song with me. He does a good job recognizing a few short sequences of letters in the song, so we’ve been singing it lots lately. Last night we were singing in our usual way where I would say a letter and pause for M to parrot back, only instead of M repeating after me, he would yell “NANA’ instead. He did this over and over laughing hysterically. I was so surprised that he came up with that all on his own, that I started laughing too. Now he REFUSES to sing the correct way instead singing “nana” after every letter hoping to coax another laugh from me. He thought it was the greatest joke.

Every night when I go to check on M, I discover that he has slipped a whole pile of library books into bed with him. Usually several will be open and I’ll have to pull several more out from under the covers/a sleeping boy. It makes me so happy that he falls asleep reading. I love that he sneaks books to bed with him. I love being able to share something I love so much with my little boy.

Sorry this is such a word heavy update. I shall leave you with the few photos I managed to finagle onto this post.

I give you M and Mom’s matchy matchy day: