We Should Be In Texas

…but we’re not. 

Our plans fell through.  We aren’t expecting a baby anymore.  We are heartbroken and hurting.  But we will be okay. 

We have felt a peace we never would have thought possible, especially considering the circumstances. We know we aren’t alone.  I have felt a lot of emotions the past several days, but despair has not been one of them.  We still know, without a doubt, that Heavenly Father has a plan for our family.  We know we will find our baby.  It may take a little longer, but that’s okay.  He or she is definitely worth the wait.   

Funny Boy O’ Mine

That Spencer boy of mine is always keeping me laughing.  I really need to be better at writing down some of the funny things we talk about to cheer me up on a cloudy day.  But here’s a couple for now.  They may not be funny to anyone else, but for my own sake…

• One day we were driving around kind of lost.  We get lost a lot.  It’s a gift.  We happened to drive past a Panda Express with a huge inflatable panda in front of the restaurant.  There was also some person dressed up in a panda suit marching up and down the street waving a sign about their new shrimp.  Spencer exclaimed out loud, “I want to sit in his lap!”  I started laughing at him as he realized his mistake.  He began yelling, “Not the walking one, NOT THE WALKING ONE!”  But it was too late.  I teased him for the rest of the day his life for wanting to sit in the lap of some guy dressed in a panda suit. 
• I don’t know how we got on this conversation, but somehow we were talking about colic.  Spencer didn’t know what it was so I was explaining to him how it’s a condition that some baby’s have where they cry a lot even though they are healthy.  Spencer’s reply: “Oh, I always thought it was a skin condition.  I guess because it sounds like cholera…”  he kind of trailed off and quickly added, “Which, of course, isn’t a skin condition either is it?”  
• Oooh, oooh, here’s a really good Spencer story for ya.  The last time we went to the doctor we both had to have blood drawn.  I went before Spencer, because, you know, ladies first.  The nurse had some trouble finding a vein.  This always happens to me.  She was finishing up when I started feeling light headed.  I told her, “I know it’s really weak sauce but I kind of feel dizzy.”  She had me rest my head between my knees.  It was not working and I said “I think I’m going to pass out.”  At this point she was getting the rubber band thing around Spencer’s arm, and the nurse told me, and I quote, “Hold on a minute.”  Okay… I’m not sure how to put my passing out on hold, but I’ll do my darndest.

The next thing I knew, I came to kind of slumped over the exam table.  The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was a flock of nurses hovering over a very pale, passed-out Spencer.  One of them was saying, “Get some ice.”  Another came rushing in with a cup of apple juice.  They were all flittering and fussing over him and no one had even noticed that I had passed out too!  I later teased Spencer that this was due to his “celebrity status.” 

My dear sweetheart finally came to enough to get on the exam table and lay down for a minute.  He handed one of his ice packs to me and said, “Hey my wife needs juice too.”  Bless his heart.  He’s always looking out fore me even when he feels cruddy too.  We were quite the pair sitting there all shaky and white-faced.  Kind of embarrassing.  I guess we really do do everything together.  

My favorite part of the story was that we got halfway home when we got a phone call from the doctor’s office that we had forgotten Spencer’s jacket.  So we had to drive all the way back there and go in and face those people again.

• When Spencer comes home from work, Lizzy ALWAYS frolics to the door to greet him.  She gets so excited when her Spencer comes.  The first thing Spence usually says when he see’s her: “Take me to your master,” sometimes in an alien-y voice.  
• Speaking of Lizzy, Spencer always does the “Lizzy voice” where he speaks the things we think Lizzy would say if she could talk.  It is so funny!  Like the time Lizzy opened Spencer’s Christmas present because there was food inside. We came to a living room covered in wrapping paper scraps.  Spencer asked Lizzy what she had to say for herself and then said in the Lizzy voice, “I’m sorry dad!  I thought the label said to: Lizzy love: Grandma.”  Another time Spencer told me that Lizzy called him from work and said, “Um dad… um hi.  I was just calling to tell you that someone pooped on the floor somewhere… well gotta go bye!”  It’s just funny.  Maybe you have to hear it in person…  Or maybe it’s funny to just me. 
• Love that boy.  Yes I do.  Yes I do. 

Book Review: Delivering Hope

I am so excited to share an awesome read with you guys! 

I actually was contacted about this book several months ago and was waiting on pins and needles to get my hands on a copy.  I was finally able to read it for the first time yesterday and it did not disappoint.  This book was beautiful.  Meaningful.  Uplifting.  Inspiring.  I read the whole thing in one sitting. 

I don’t want to give too much away, but here’s the synopsis:

Olivia Spencer wants to be a mom more than anything else in the whole world, but years of infertility have wounded her soul and placed a strain on her marriage to Michael.  Now, Olivia finds herself wondering if the life she has built will even survive.

Allison Campbell is a recent high school graduate who discovers that a moment of excitement has led to an unplanned pregnancy and an overwhelming heartache.

As the lives of these two women touch, we see that deep love can pave the way for sacrifice, and we all learn the true source of hope and healing.

I loved the parallels between characters and the beautiful way in which each woman's story intertwined.  Olivia’s character resonated with me so strongly that at times it felt like I was reading about my own life.  The characters may be fictional, but the emotion behind this book is very real.  I truly connected with the characters through their heartache and rejoiced in their triumph.   

I actually had the opportunity to meet the author at last years FSA.  Jennifer Ann Holt is as sweet as they come.  She is giving away a signed copy of the book to two individuals, and a singed bookmark and Delivering Hope magnet to five individuals.  There are a few ways to enter:’

1. Become a follower of Jennifer’s blog:  www.jenshopefulwriting.blogspot.com and leave a comment letting her know you stopped by!
2. “Like” the Delivering Hope facebook fan page:  www.facebook.com/DeliveringHopeNovel
3. Watch the book trailer:  www.bit.ly/peCixw and post a comment on the facebook page telling what you liked about it.

The winners will be randomly chosen at the conclusion of the blog tour and posted on both Jen’s blog and the Facebook fan page by 10:00 am on Saturday, February 11th. 

Delivering Hope will be officially released on February 8th.  I’m dying for you guys to read it so we can discuss!    

Ready!

I finally posted pictures of our nursery on my craft blog.  Hop over to take a look here. 

Merry Christmas

Christmas Nativity 2011

Spencer has the neatest tradition in his family.  Every year, Spencer and his siblings would don their dad’s bathrobes and old shirts and act out the Nativity while their mom narrated from the Bible. 

We have not really continued the tradition since we got married because it’s a bit difficult with just the two of us, but I was re-listening to past Christmas Devotionals, I came across this one given in 2008 by President Eyring.  I realized that we don’t have to wait to start some family traditions I had previously put on hold.  It may be a bit harder to do with just two, but it can be done. 

We had a very small cast, as you can see, but it is a tradition I hope we continue in our own little family. 

Small Shoes to Fill

Spencer and I are so excited to share that we are expecting a baby in February.

We are so happy and totally adore our baby’s birhmom and birthdad.  They are awesome people.  I can’t wait to tell you more about them. 

As excited as we are about our good adoption news, it is bittersweet for us to share.  We are mindful of our many friends who are still waiting for their little one.  The wait is so hard and we don’t want to do anything to make it harder on any of the people we care about so much. 

We love you guys.  Thanks for all of the support and prayers offered on our behalf.  We know we aren’t the only ones who have been praying for this baby, and we are very touched and very grateful. 

Season’s Greetings

“Fine Mom, I’ll wear the stupid hat, but you can’t make me like it!”