Mommy’s Little Helper

I am so lucky to have so much help around the house.  M is always eager to do whatever I am doing.  It definitely takes a bit longer to do all of the things that need to be done with the cutie pie in tow.  But I love that he just wants to be near me.   

M loves to help do laundry. He sits in my lap wile I fold clothes and busies himself by trying to swipe hangers to gnaw on. It’s a tough job, but someone hast to taste test those hangers right? His most favorite thing to do is to pull the folded clothes out of his drawer as fast as I can put more in.  He also loves playing in the upside down clothes hamper. It’s a whole ‘nother world in there guys.

M’s also pretty good at helping me put on my make up.  He takes good care of my mascara while I’m putting on the rest of my makeup.  And he loves to rummage through my makeup bag to find what would be most pretty.  He makes sure to slap the mirror lots and lots because that adds a lot of ambiance when one is prepping for the day.  M also does his best to ensure that I don’t spend TOO much time in front of the mirror (he usually gives me about five minutes), because he doesn’t want to encourage vanity.   

Sometimes, M likes to help me cook.  He busily bangs a wooden spoon against his tray to keep tempo while I whirl about the kitchen creating culinary delights.  If it looks like I’m slacking, he’ll toss his spoons overboard just to give me something to do.     

Most of all, he helps by keeping me on my toes.  He helps by making me a better, more patient person.  He helps by reminding me what is really important, not the laundry or cooking or millions of other little tasks that take up a day.  But time with him. 

Once Upon a Baby Review

I am always on the hunt for good children's books about adoption.  M has a few that I read to him often, and though he doesn’t understand them yet, I like knowing that there are resources available to help us teach him about how he came to our family. 

Once Upon a Baby is unique in that it was written from an LDS viewpoint.  It teaches children not only about adoption, but about their Heavenly Father and His love for them.  What I liked most about this book was that the father was a big part of the story.  Most of the children’s books I have read feature an adoptive mother and her baby but NO mention of a father and very little mention of the birthmother.  In “Once Upon a Baby” each family member was part of the story.

To be honest I am rather picky about books about adoption, and I wouldn’t say that even this one got everything exactly how I would explain it, though it came closer than many.  I am sure it’s impossible to write a book that applies perfectly to every adoption situation (which is why I am planning on making my own little book that tells M’s story just for him).  But I did like the perspective from which it was written and I especially loved that gospel principles were woven throughout.

The author, Shari Guess, is giving away a few free copies.  Feel free to click on the link below to enter for your chance to win. 

Rafflecopter giveaway

Flirt

This teddy bear you see here is the biggest flirt you will EVER meet.  He loves to charm the ladies.  ESPECIALLY the grandmas (not just his grandma’s but any cute little grandma that glances his way).  He will smile and coo and sing in a high pitched voice and dance and shyly peek from behind my shoulder and just put on the biggest show.  It is so funny to me that he does this, especially because I am terrible at flirting (not that I flirt with anyone other than Spencer) and always have been.  Spencer obviously was a good enough flirt to woo me, but I have heard some very cute and funny stories about his attempts to flirt with girls at stake dances.  I should mention that this was when he was a wee little fourteen-year-old-teacher.  As far as I know, he does not attend stake dances these days (well, except when he goes with me to chaperone).  If M is this practiced at flirting at only seven months old, how will he be when he is SEVENTEEN?  Oh dear.    

The other day we were at the store and M was starting to get fussy.  He had had it with shopping and wanted to go home and take a nap.  We were checking out as M started to work up to a louder cry when this cute elderly couple walked by and the sweet little old lady stopped to say hi to M.  He stopped right in the middle of his fit to flirt.  Like he hadn’t just been throwing the biggest tantrum in the universe.  And then when the couple walked away, he picked up right where he left off and was fussing again.  Spence and I were cracking up.  He is quite the performer.     

M’s new favorite way to flirt is by growling.  He loves to growl at people who happen to cross his path.  They are very good natured growls, which make people bust up laughing, and further encourage his growly bear ways.  It is so funny to hear such a rumble come from someone so small.  He certainly knows how to win hearts.  Especially mine.     

In an Open Adoption, Who Names the Baby?

I haven’t been on top of blogging as I would like these past few weeks.  I was so excited for National Adoption Month, and had lots of things I wanted to write about.  I have been so wrapped up with a few big projects that I just haven’t had as much time for writing.  But before the month totally escapes me I had a few topics I have been thinking about and wanting to share.  Many of these are based on questions that most commonly come up whenever adoption is discussed.  

So first up: In an open adoption relationship who typically names the baby? 

I want to clarify that every open adoption is as different as the individuals sharing that relationship, so there really isn’t any “standard” when it comes to naming a baby who was placed for adoption. I don’t think that the word “typical” truly even applies because I have seen this issue approached so many different ways. But I like sharing examples that I have seen and particularly how we came to name our little M.  I know there are a lot of opinions on this, and I just thought I’d throw mine in the mix.       

I think, most commonly, I have seen the adoptive couple choose the name of the baby.  Often, I have seen adoptive parents select a middle name that pays tribute to the birthparents.  Sometimes the baby is given a middle name after one of the birthparents.  Or sometimes the adoptive couple asks the birthparents to pick the middle name.  We have family members who came up with a few different first names that they really liked and asked the birthparents to pick their favorite of the bunch.  I don’t think that these kinds of things are necessarily always expected, but I personally think it is nice when the name of the child reflects the birthparent or their preferences in some way.  Even couples who don’t use any of these methods often discuss names with birthparents just to get their opinions and input. 

In our case, M’s name comes from his birthmomma.

Some people are surprised by this, but it was something that we felt strongly about.  Before we ever even met Nat, we knew that we wanted our baby’s name to represent their birthparent(s) in some way.  We thought that we would most likely ask the birthparents to pick a middle name for the baby, if that was something that they wanted to do.  We made this decision for a few different reasons:

1. We wanted the birthparents to know that they would not be forgotten.  Nat told me once that when she was first considering adoption her biggest fear was that she would be forgotten.  I would NEVER want our birthparents to feel like we didn’t remember the sacrifice they made.  The gratitude we feel for our baby’s birthmomma is immeasurable.  We hoped that by including the birthparents in the naming process we could show them that we want them to be a part of their child’s life. 

2. We wanted our baby to have yet another piece of his birthparents to carry with him always. 

3. We wanted our baby to know that his parents love his birthparents.  Our working together to name a baby that means so much to all of us, is an expression of love. 

I realize that there are other ways to accomplish these objectives, and we certainly don’t think badly of adoptive couples or birthmoms that feel differently. This is simply how we felt and what we wanted to do.

At some point after Nat told us that she wanted us to be M’s parents, she told us that she had a name that she loved and that she had been calling her little baby boy by.  She told us what it was and though it was a name that we had not thought of ourselves, we really liked it.  Interestingly, it was also VERY similar to a few of our favorite names.  Spence and I talked about it and we decided to use the name Nat picked as the first name and family names for middle names. 

Yes, M has two middle names.  But when you don’t know if or when you will be able to have more kids let alone another boy, you use the names you want to use for pete’s sakes!  M’s middle names both come from his grandpa’s and we couldn’t very well choose one grandpa’s name over the other.  So he got them both.  Though M’s name is kinda long, I love that every bit of it has lots of meaning and significance.     

The way that we all agreed upon and liked M’s name so much was a sweet experience for me.  I have heard of situations where picking a name can be tricky, and I am glad that it wasn’t that way for us.  I have a hard time explaining it, but from the time we felt M bouncing around in Nat’s tummy, his name just FELT right.  And I still feel like it just suits him perfectly today.  An M by any other name just wouldn’t be the same.   

If you have any questions about adoption that you would like answered, feel free to send them my way!  We love opportunities to talk about our adoption experience and are always happy to share our thoughts!   

Pieces of Her

One year ago this week, we first heard from Natalie and our friendship began.  So naturally she has been on my mind a lot lately.  Well, she’s always on my mind, but she has been especially so these past few days. 

I love that I see so much of her in M.  He has her eyes.  Not the color, but the shape is EXACTLY the same, as is the long lovely lashes.  And M smiles the same way his Natalie does.  This huge smile that makes his eyes crinkle just like hers do.  I am glad that he has so many pieces of his Natalie to remind him of her love.   

I am so grateful for her.  I love telling M all about his Natalie.  I read him all of her emails and texts.  And when I lay him in his crib at night I give him two kisses (at least!), one from me and one from her.

I wanted to share this song for National Adoption Month.  It is a song that we listened to on our way to meet Nat for the first time, and have enjoyed many times since.  The video was put together by Families Supporting Adoption. 

Seven Months

M has learned so many fun new tricks this last month that I am so excited to write about. 

The funniest thing he started doing is fake coughing.  It cracks me up that he even knows how to do this.  Who knew that seven months old could act?  But he totally does.  Lots of times he does it when he is starting to fuss.  He’ll throw a fake cough in there as if to say, “Guys, you better pay attention to me, I am seriously ill.”  And if we don’t look up immediately with alarm he coughs HARDER.  Sometimes he does it when he’s perfectly content though.  Often it starts out as a genuine cough, like if some of the water from his sippy cup goes down the wrong pipe, but evolves into a fake cough to get that much more attention.  As Spence put it, he likes to end his cough with a flourish.  It makes us laugh every time.  He can be so dramatic, that little one.

M has lots of other funny noises that he has picked up lately.  He’s started doing this thing where he sucks in his lower lip and then blows it back out.  I guess he is fascinated by the sound it makes because he does this all day long.  He also makes little snorty/smacky sounds when he eats his solids.  It is so cute!  He is quite vocal while he is enjoying his grub.  He kind of sounds like a little piglet.  And M does love to make a big ruckus.  Screaming is M’s specialty.  When he is happy, he just screeches at the top of his lungs.  When Spence comes home from work M musters up his biggest, happiest, screams in greeting.  His other favorite times to scream are during sacrament meeting/Sunday school/relief society.  We spend a lot of time in the hallway.  I know that you are probably thinking that he is a baby and that all babies are loud during these times.  That is true, but M’s volume is exceptional.  So much so that we often get lots of good natured compliments on his healthy set of lungs.  Just trust me on this one.  This baby is LOUD. 

M outgrew his baby tub and now bathes in the big kid tub.  I think he likes it all the better because there is more room to kick and splash.  His favorite is when I let him sit up (with a little help so he doesn’t bonk his cute punkin head).  He started siting up in the cart while we go grocery shopping.  He likes being able to smile at other shoppers without the carseat obstructing his view, but he usually gets tired of the grocery cart halfway through the trip and has to be rescued into mom’s arms. 

M is still not crawling, nor does he seem particularly close.  He hates being on his tummy.  I usually get on the floor with him with lots of toys in attempt to distract him, but M will only stay a few moments before flipping to his back.  I flip the little pancake back to his tummy, only to have him roll over again moments later.  He is just not interested.  I’ve always held (or worn) M a LOT and he adores cuddling more than anything in the world.  My guess is that is part of the reason he doesn’t seem too keen on learning to crawl.  He wants to be in people’s arms socializing, not down on the floor away from all the action.  He would rather cuddle than explore. 

M doesn’t like to be put down a lot.  Which can be tricky sometimes because he is so dang heavy!  Little chunk.  I used to be able to do things like vacuum and make bottles and such one handed.  But it is getting harder the bigger he gets.  M Bug is most content when he is doing what we are doing.  He loves to “help” me put on makeup.  I sit in front of the floor length mirror while M slaps his reflection or chews on a tube of my mascara.  He loves all the pretty shiny make up bottles.  M also likes to sit in our laps at the table.  He will sit in his high chair for a short while sometimes and enjoy fruit in his fresh food feeder.  But usually, at some point during the meal, he ends up on one of our laps.  He then tries his darndest to slap his hands in our food.  He is just so eager to eat what we are eating. 

We go for long walks most days of the week.  M loves being outside more than anything.  He also loves when we sing “Once There was a Snowman” and lift him high in the air for the “tall tall tall parts” only to come melting back down.  He giggles and giggles when we do this.  M has discovered that it is fun to throw the sippy cup or fresh food feeder overboard during meal time.  He has also discovered that it is hilarious to pull the wipe that is covering him up during diaper changes off.  He swipes it and brings it up to his mouth with the speed of a viper striking its prey.  He’s quick.  Very quick.  Luckily, mommy also has cat-like reflexes and is able to intercept most wipes.  M adores reading stories.  His favorites are the ones with the least real words and the most animal sounds. 

My favorite moments are when I get him from his crib first thing in the morning. M gives me the biggest grin in the world and always makes the sweetest little most contented sigh when I pick him up. Like he is just so happy that I have come to rescue him. Like there is no where in the world he would rather be than in my arms. I also love when he lays on my chest and tucks his head under my chin. Those are my most treasured moments. I try to savor every second.

As I was looking through all of M’s six month photos I was shocked at how old he looked.  I think it’s because he’s developing more of a neck.  Stop it cutie!  Stay little tiny kay? 

Trunk or Treat

For Halloween, our ward had a “Trunk or Treat”/Hunger Walk.  Participants gathered at an outdoor track to walk/run laps (many in costume).  Canned food was donated as admission, and the activity ended with the children going trick or treating to all of the cars in the parking lot. 

Well, Spence and I love a good excuse to dress up, so we were excited.  We kind of had to redeem ourselves from the TERRIBLE costumes of last year.  We somehow put off coming up with something good and ended up deciding to be a tooth and a tooth fairy at the last minute.  I got the idea from some of my college roommates.  It wasn’t that the concept was dumb, because my roommates pulled it off spectacularly.  But by the time we got to the dollar store they were all out of white poster board, so I just wore a white T shirt and wadded foil on my head to look like a filling.  We just kind of wrapped Spence in tulle, taped some paper wings to his back, and topped it off with a foil crown we made in the car on the way over.  It was lame.  So lame we didn’t take a picture. Which I really regret now honestly because it would be great for a laugh. 

But this year.  This year would be different. 

We planned our costumes exuberantly.  I was SO excited to dress M up as a punkin’ that I about wet my pants.  I mean, come on.  Look at him.  We wanted our costumes to kind of match the theme of his (because I had planned on having my first baby dress as a punkin’ for roughly 18 years now), so we all dressed up as Jacks!  We were thinking how great it would be if we had a family of like 19, because there were so many good Jack costumes that we didn’t even get to use!  Jack Frost, Jack Sparrow, a car Jack, Jack be nimble, a toy Jack (you know that little game you play with the rubber ball), Cracker Jack, and Spence wanted to be Jack Squat.  Weirdo.  I wouldn’t let him. 

I was rather proud of our costumes: jack in the box, jack of hearts, and two little jack o’ lanterns.  Despite our snazzy ensemble, the activity wasn’t quite what we hoped for.  We ended up showing up kind of late because we had an activity in the morning that ran long.  It was windy and cold so we only walked one lap for hunger.  By the time we got to our car, the trick or treaters had already started making the rounds.  Pretty soon it started raining.  Our costumes were obviously not built to withstand such soggy conditions.  I watched Spencer waddle along as the suspenders keeping his box off kept popping off and I started laughing.  It was just a bit comical that we actually put a little bit of effort into this year, and it ended up being such a mess.  By that point M was cold. I was cold. Even Spence was cold because I had stolen his jacket.  Lizzy was having so much fun greeting the trick or treaters that I think she was the only one reluctant to finally just load up and go home.     

I did manage to snap a couple of pictures before we took M out of his costume.  They aren’t the greatest, but by that point he had had it, so we took what we could get. 

My favorite of the bunch:

I photo shopped Spencer’s arm out because I thought it would look cuter.  Though after I did it I decided it maybe looks kind of funny that he’s seemingly so unsupported.  I thought I should let you know lest you think he’s perched precariously. 

In any case, it was a fun excuse to take pictures of the little punkin’.  I would do it all over again if it meant he got to wear that costume one more time.