Finally For Forever

Saturday was one of the most beautiful, emotional, amazing days of my entire life.  I have had a hard time finding the words to do our experience justice.  Our family was able to go to the temple to be sealed together for forever.  For those who are unfamiliar with LDS temples, here is a link explaining a bit about what we believe.  Spencer and I were married in the temple where we made sacred marriage covenants and were sealed for time and all eternity.  We believe that the relationship we treasure here on the earth as husband and wife is not just “‘til death do us part.”  And we also believe that children born into that relationship will be with their parents throughout the eternities.  Since our sweetheart was not born to us, we were able to take him to the temple and have him sealed to our family. 

Friday was a busy, fun, stressful, hard, crazy, hectic day all rolled into one.  We traveled out of town to be sealed in the Mount Timpanogos Temple in Utah for a variety of reasons, but largely because it was what worked best for several family members to attend.  It was somewhat adventuresome to organize a celebration that you are hosting out of state, but we were blessed to have so much help.  Our quick trip to Utah was a whirlwind one.  We arrived Thursday evening and all of Friday was spent in preparation for the festivities of the next day.  We literally were hopping all day!  But the craziness and business of the past few days melted away as we drove to the temple Saturday morning.  

While we were checking in and getting ready to take Mason to the youth center, our Natalie came running up to us and gave us a big hug exclaiming, “It’s your day you guys!”.  I was already in and out of tears and had been all morning, but just the sight of her brought tears to my eyes again.  Oh how we love that girl. 

The sealing itself is a very simple ordinance, but very special.  Spencer’s grandpa was the one to seal us.  He said a few words about the sealing ordinance and about eternal families.  It was special to us that he mentioned Natalie and what a lovely person she is.  After he spoke to us for a few minutes, Spencer’s mom brought Mason into the room.  As she walked in holding Mason in her arms, I totally lost it.  He was as calm and peaceful as I have ever seen him.  He looked around the room at the people there who loved him.  It was just like the day he was born; it was as though he knew what was going on.  He is a quiet little person, but you can just tell that he is such a strong spirit.

He was an angel and didn’t cry or fuss or even squirm around.  He seemed to be just taking it all in.  He put his little hand on ours and we became a forever family.  I don’t think that there was a dry eye in the room.  Mason brought such a special spirit to that moment.  I have never felt anything like it.  It isn’t everyday that you get to witness a perfect being’s presence in the temple.  After we were sealed, we got to give each of our guests a hug, and then our little family of three stood together and looked into the mirrors on the wall.  Seeing our family stretch into eternity was an amazing sight to see.

When we walked out of the temple, my eyes were already searching the crowd looking for Natalie. 

The three of us ran to our Natalie and we threw our arms around her. 

How do you express the love you feel for the person who made your forever family possible? There truly aren’t words.  The gratitude we feel is immeasurable.  I have said it before, but adoption has given me such a deeper understanding of the atonement.  I don’t make the comparison lightly, but it does strike me that Natalie did for us what we could not do for ourselves, bring a baby into the world.  We did for her what she could not do alone, provide an eternal family for the child she created.  And at the heart of our connection is this amazing, perfect, little baby who is the light of all our lives. 

I have always loved my Savior for his sacrifice for me.  I know that He does for me what I cannot do for myself.  Adoption has been a parable in my life of the atonements healing power.  My appreciation for His sacrifice for me has intensified as I ponder just what it feels to be completely reliant on another to do the thing you so desperately yearn for, hope for, pray for, and dream of.  For we know that feeling all too well -- the desperation that no matter how hard you try you cannot achieve the greatest desire of your heart.  That is, until someone enters your life who is an answer to your prayers.  It is very humbling experience to be the recipient of such a sacrifice.  I know it was made for Mason.  It was for Mason’s well being and happiness that Natalie decided to place him.  Yet, we also were blessed beyond measure from her choice.       

As were each of these people:

And many, many others who were not there at the temple with us.  Mason has been the answer to so many prayers. 

The thought that he is now a part of our forever family brings me such joy.  I have this favorite quote by Elder Holland that I have thought of often the past few days.

“I don’t know how to speak of heaven in the traditional, lovely, paradisiacal beauty that we speak of heaven…I wouldn’t know how to speak of heaven without my wife, or my children.  It would not be heaven for me.  Now, you can say that’s wishful thinking, you can say, ‘ Well that’s just because you love each other and you’ve gotten cozy here on earth and you like each other’s company.’ It’s a lot more than that.  There is something eternal in the statement that neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.  That isn’t just good sociology it’s good theology, it’s eternal” (Holland, Between Heaven and Earth).

I simply cannot imagine heaven without my sweethearts by my side.  I cannot imagine life without my Mason.  He fits into our family as though he has always been.  As though we were always meant to be.  

After taking pictures, we all congregated at Mom’s house to bless our baby boy.  It was wonderful see my husband take our son in his arms and give him a name and a blessing.  A moment I had dreamed of for years. 

We then gathered for lunch and enjoyed visiting with our many honored guests.  My dearest friend Lynley was so kind to take all of the photos at the temple for us and she kindly snapped some photos of our little luncheon as well.  I was so grateful she did, because I tried to put a lot of special little details into the day.

I made little guest books (for both Natalie and Mason) for all of the guests to write a little note to each of them.  I have loved reading through the letters written to Mason.  I know it will be a treasure for him someday to look back and read how excited we all were for him to join our family.  He is, without a doubt, the most loved baby in the world. 

That sweet little willow tree figure was given to us from my family in celebration of the day.  It is appropriately named, “The Gift.”  I love that figurine and all that it now represents. 

We had a light lunch, and were very excited about the little treat table that we had set up.  We served a variety of snacks and candy in MASON jars (get it?) of various sizes.  And we served all of our guests lemonade in mason jars as well.  Not just any mason jars, but self SEALING mason jars (now how’s that for a happy coincidence?).  It was such a wonderful day spent with the people we love most. 

Finalization

Last Thursday we were able to take Mason to court for finalization! 

It was such an exciting day for our family.  We had been looking forward to it since the day our cutie pie was placed in our arms.  And even though it took much longer than we expected for our day at court to FINALLY be scheduled, everything went smoothly so it all worked out in the end. 

It was interesting to be in an empty courtroom with just our family, our caseworker, and our attorney seated before the judge.  I think Spencer described it well when he said that the proceedings felt like mostly a formality.  We were not in court longer that just a few minutes.  And when all was said and done, of course Baby Boy didn’t really feel any more “ours” than he had been before.  But it was a day to be celebrated, nevertheless.  Mostly because now we can be sealed together as a forever family.  THAT is what we have really been longing for and dreaming of.  I can’t imagine not being with my sweethearts for forever.  They are my whole world. 

We are so excited to go to the temple in just a few days!  I just feel so grateful.  We are very blessed.  

Four Months

We have SO busy round these parts and I have lots of blogging to catch up on.  So many exciting things to write about.  Baby’s first plane ride!  Califo!  FINALIZATION!  Since we returned from our little trip to Grandma and Grandpa White’s house we have been running around like crazy trying to keep up with our insane schedule and I haven’t had a few minutes to write what we’ve been up to. 

But for now, I’ll just try to jot down a few of Mr. M’s. latest tricks and adventures so I can remember what he was like at four months old. 

Our baby is getting to be such a big boy!  Spence didn’t get to come with us when we went to Califo and we were gone over a week.  When we came home Spencer was amazed at how much older our little guy seemed. 

The little stinker started being ticklish, made strides in the rolling over department, AND started sprouting a tooth all while we were gone.  Aunt Chelsey discovered his tickle spot (it’s under his chins) and he giggled for her like I have never seen him giggle before.  His laugh is the most precious sound in the world. 

Teething has already been quite the adventure.  So far, we can just see one tooth coming in on the bottom left.  Poor baby has been pretty uncomfortable, but baby Tylenol and his little chew toy have helped a lot. 

At his four month appointment, Mr. M weighed sixteen and a half pounds (eighty-fifth percentile) and was twenty five and a half inches long (seventy-fifth percentile).  He is quite the little chunk!  Often when people meet him for the first time they comment on how “healthy” or “well fed” he looks.  We always laugh and tell them that it’s okay, he’s a little chubster and we love it!  He does love to eat, that boy of mine. 

Speaking of eating, M Bug is learning how to hold his own bottle!  He usually can only hold it for a little bit before he gets too excited and flips the bottle out of his mouth.  But he loves to hold it with us, putting his little hands over ours.  He pretty much HAS to hold his bottle while he is eating these days.  It’s pretty darn cute. 

Mr. M is sleeping pretty much through the night.  He doesn’t take long naps during the day, but he loves a good nights rest.  He usually goes down for the night around six or seven and sleeps until six or seven.  

He loves car rides and if he is crying he will often calm down when we strap him in his carseat because he knows that it means that he is going for a ride.  He happily looks out the window and merrily talks to himself until he usually falls asleep.

I am discovering that Mr. M is maybe a little bit shy.  He loves people and people watching.  He is very intent on observing what everyone else in the room is doing.  But he is most smiley for people he knows well.  And he is actually a pretty quiet little person.  People often ask me if he is “always this mellow.”  For the most part (until he started teething that is), he really is a laid back easy going little dude.   He doesn’t usually make a lot of noise, but he does have a very loud cry when he wants to.  He has got a healthy set of lungs, that’s for sure. 

My little sweetheart.  I’m so smitten. 

Recovering

I’m home from surgery.  All in all everything went pretty smoothly (aside from the hospital staff losing my file while I was in recovery and refusing to give me more meds until they could find it to see how much I had had already).  So far recovery hasn’t been too bad either.  I have been sleeping a LOT and am so glad that my mom is here to take care of the little dude.  But it is killing me not to be able to hold him.  I miss cuddling with my little man! 

I was next to a total WEIRDO in pre-op.  I could hear him in the next partition over from mine hassling the nurses and just being an annoyance.  He kept refusing to sign his paperwork and questioned every single thing his nurse did.  He was such a strange cookie that I asked Spence to write down some of the funny things he was saying to share with Mom when we got home.  And no, he had not been given any medication yet.  Here are a few of my faves:

“You want to know how long I was in jail?”

“To quote that Sound of Music that’s a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool.” (Um, that would be the Music Man buddy). 

“I’m LEAKING!”

“But I want to wear my own underwear to the surgery!”

“My ex-wife is driving me home today.  We haven’t hugged in eight years, but we get together all the time to do criss-crosswords.”

Nurse: “Are you allergic to any medications?”
Strange Cookie: “Trout”

Strange Cookie: “Are you married?”
Nurse: “Yes.”
Strange Cookie: “Happily?” (Yes he really said that!)
Nurse: “Yes.”
Strange Cookie: “Are you sure?”
Nurse: “Yes.”

It was nice to have some entertainment to distract me.  I was a little nervous. 

In any case, I’m glad to be home now feasting on Jell-O and sipping on Gatorade.  This is the life. 

Little Ones

They are just about the same size these days!  Actually, Baby finally just surpassed Puppy in weight. 

I tried uploading a video of Baby petting Liz on the back.  And I was so excited to share it with you guys, because it is so dang cute.  Lizzy is kind of looking at the camera like, “Um guys his sticky little hand is kind of pulling my fur.”  And Mr. M is wide eyed like, “I have never felt a puppy before!”  Lest you fret, I should let you know that we thoroughly washed Mr. M’s hands after he pet the pup.  Alas, after multiple attempts at uploading that video, I threw up my hands and declared that the computer won.  This time. 

So instead of a video of the our cute little man, you will just have to settle for my new desktop background. 

To Share or Not to Share

I recently read a blog post in which the author expressed her distaste for those who share the details of their adoption story.  Her reasoning was that an experience so personal should not be shared in a public place.  I can see where she is coming from.  And I can respect her desire to keep her story to herself (she is an adoptive mom).  It was interesting to read her perspective because it is so different from my own. 

I have felt very strongly that some of our story is meant to be told

I feel so grateful that we have been able to share our experiences with adoption.  Some of our story is private.  There are some details that we are saving for our little guy alone to know.  We have been very prayerful about what to share and how and when to share it.  The words we have written were written carefully.  We asked permission from our sweet birthmomma to include her in our story.  I don’t know how to tell it without speaking of her.  After all, if it weren’t for our Natalie, we wouldn’t have an adoption story to begin with!  

You see, our lives have been so immeasurably blessed by the miracle of adoption!  How could we possibly keep quiet?  It seems ungrateful to do so.  What if there are other individuals whose lives could be similarly blessed?  Besides, I like to think that we can be a force for good in sharing how adoption can be an amazing, positive, experience.  There is plenty of inaccurate/negative information out there.  Maybe our story can help refute some of those damaging misconceptions about adoption. 

But maybe even more than that, our son’s birth was a cause for celebration!  I wouldn’t want to keep the way in which he joined our family a secret from him or anyone else.  He came to us in the way he came to us for a reason.  His little life had meaning and purpose before long before he was ours.  And I want him to be proud of his story someday. 

I love to share how we feel about open adoption.  I know that openness isn’t a possibility for everyone, but I am so glad that it works for us.  I share a lot about why we have an open relationship with our baby’s birthmomma because it is a big part of our lives.  It is important to us. 

And sharing our story has given our family some special opportunities.  We have made friends who also have connections with adoption.  These individuals have been an awesome support.  We have gotten a few nice comments or e-mails from people telling us that they were touched by some part of our story.  Those kind words make all the effort it takes to write it all out worth it. 

A Visit From Nat!

This week we got a special visit from our Natalie!  It was so much fun and we are a little lottle bummed that it’s over!  Thank goodness we will get to see her again in a few weeks for Mason’s sealing!  And then again a few weeks after that!  HOORAY for Natalie time! 

Nat came with her parents and cousin.  The are the most AWESOME. FAMILY. EVER.  Truly, some of the kindest, most genuine people you will ever meet.  We think the world of them. 

And we made the most of our time together.  There was much admiring of the Mason Bug.  And lots and lots of kissing those fat cheeks of his.  There were more than just a couple of rounds of Nertz .  And one day we went to the Lake and had a BBQ and let Mason dip his toes in the water.  I was even super prepared that time and brought a little kiddie pool to fill up with water and set in the sun, so it would get all warm.  (The little Mr. prefers his water warm please and thank you.)  Alas, some kids got ahold of it and filled it with cold water before Mason got to take a dip.

Thanks so much for coming to visit us guys!  We love you so much and we’re excited to see you again soon!