What Role Did Social Media Play in Your Adoption Experience?

Todays question actually comes from an interview I did with a  BYU student in the journalism program. 

Since she is where my husband was just a few years ago, I was especially happy to help out.  And plus, I jump at any opportunity to talk about adoption.  One of my favorite subjects!

So… When we first started the adoption process the summer of 2011, our social worker told us that these days, two thirds of birthparents find the adoptive couple to parent their baby out of agency.  This means that the majority of birthparents select an adoptive couple from word of mouth or often online resources, especially social media.  For this reason, our caseworker encouraged us to do as much as we felt comfortable with to spread the word on our own.  We had a few ways that we set about accomplishing this.   

1. Our adoption blog!  We started the blog a looooooooooooooong time before we were approved.  Mostly because we were waiting to start the approval process until we had moved out of state and the move ended up taking months longer than we anticipated.  THAT was the hardest part of the waiting process.  Waiting to start the paperwork to wait some more to be selected.  In any case, blogging gave me something to do to feel like I was moving forward in our search to find our baby.    

2. Our Facebook page.  We would periodically share blog posts and adoption updates on our page.  We’re not really Facebook people, me in particular, but we had heard it was a good idea, so we gave it a try. 

3. Our adoption video.  We made the video because there was a special spot for it on our adoption profile.  Since Spence pretty much edits video for a living and all, we thought it would be a fun thing to do.  We are constantly making videos anyway, so we thought it would also be neat to document a big part of our lives at the time.   

4. Media blitz.  My sister hosted a media blitz where she e-mailed all of our friends and asked them to share our adoption profile (on itsaboutlove.org) on facebook/email/twitter or any other way they could think of on the same day.  It was amazing to see the outreach of people who shared our information that day.  We were very touched and humbled to see friends and even many strangers share our story with the hopes of helping us find our baby.   

(Okay, and now for a HUGE aside. 

Those these aren’t necessarily ways to use social media, but I thought while I was on the subject I’d share a few more things we did for any couples that are also hoping to get their name out there.  I was always trying to think of what else I could do to maybe help move things along so here’s a few more ideas you can add to the mix: 

• Passalong cards. We sent these to our family members and a few friends, that way if they ever heard of anyone that was hoping to place a baby, they could share our information. We even had a few people that displayed the cards at their place of business. We actually did have one expectant mother contact us because our friend gave her a passalong card! Obviously, she didn’t place with us, but it was encouraging to have the experience.
• Create an electronic signature on your e-mail with a link to your adoption blog or profile.
• Create a button for your adoption blog/profile.  

Huge rambling detour over.  Moving right along…)

As it ended up, Natalie found our profile on itsaboutlove.org directly, so she was part of the group who find a couple through the agency.  BUT we do know that she liked our adoption video and our blog, so I would maybe think that social media had an impact on her decision to place with us, though it was not how she found us.  In my personal opinion, it is probably hard to really get to know someone based ONLY on a profile, so it is nice if you keep a blog detailing some of life’s everyday moments and adventures.   

I would also say that the role social media played in our adoption experience is ongoing.  Our adoption blog, in particular, has had an amazing impact on our adoption experience because we have been able to connect with many individuals who are also involved in adoption.  

It has been a tremendous support to be able to find other adoptive couples who are going through the exact same things.  This was of particular comfort during the waiting period.  I poured over other couples stories trying to prepare myself for what I hoped would come.  I have developed friendships with many amazing birthmoms through social media.  I love learning from them and hearing their perspective.  It helps me know what I can to support Natalie and reach out to her in ways that are meaningful.  I have also especially enjoyed connecting with individuals who were adopted and learning what kinds of things I can to to help Mason develop a healthy understanding of his adoption and the reasons for which he was placed.

I have also found value in sharing our story in hopes that it might bless the life of another.  It would be amazing if our story helped someone else consider adoption, be it adoptive couple or expectant parents.  I also hope that I can point out commonly held inaccuracies about adoption and highlight some of the blessings that have come from openness. 

Maybe most importantly, It is one more record of the little ins and outs of our lives.  It is accessible to M’s birthfamily, who all love to read up on how he is doing and look at pictures of his cute little face.  It is a time capsule for us to look back on and remember many of the sweet little details I took time to record. 

Prior to being asked this question, I don’t know that I had thought about just much social media has affected our adoption experience.  And while I think in excess social media can be a dangerous distraction, I feel grateful for the many blessings it has afforded.